They say that to succeed in life, you must put your nose to
the grindstone…but what happens when you run out of nose? I’m thinking about that today because I’m
tired. I can feel the holiday rush
roaring in like an oncoming freight train.
This freight is loaded with the usual impossible expectations and rabble
of “Buy Me!” “Buy this!” “Buy that!”
“Your Must-Haves!” “My Favorite
Things!” (Sorry, Oprah…it’s nothing
personal.)
I’m so tired of the media blather. I feel like the social media is doing nothing
but vomiting useless junk all over me, and it’s always worse this time of year. I’m tired of seeing commercials that seem to
be as long as or longer than the segments of whatever program I’m trying to
watch. I’m tired of being told you have
to present yourself as a product or a brand.
Me, be the next big thing? Sure,
I see the logic, but then again, I am not some kitschy little trinket! I’m not just a vessel to be bought or
sold. What is prostitution then, if it
isn’t selling yourself? If you are
whoring yourself, sex doesn’t have to be a factor at all.
Individualism.
Independence. I used to think
these were priceless…but now, I don’t know…
Everything screams, “Me! Me! Me!” What about “Us! Us! Us!”? What is wrong with depending on each
other? What’s wrong with wanting, even needing
someone to lean on? Are we really so
afraid to be soft, to be vulnerable?
Vulnerability doesn’t necessarily mean weakness. It just means someone can reach you deep
inside, and that doesn’t have to be bad.
There’s nothing wrong with wearing armor if you know you’re going into
battle. But I don’t want to battle all
day, every day. I’m sure some do, and
some even revel in it. Not me. Sometimes true strength is people unafraid to
show that they are afraid.
I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with expressing
yourself, but the problem I see is that lately, everyone is expressing
themselves all at the same time. You may
have noticed it too, especially on the Internet with blogs and vlogs and tweets
and Facebook updates every ten minutes. In
fact, there’s a push, an expectation to know and express yourself,
loud and proud.
I see a few problems with that. First of all, when everyone is so busy
expressing, who’s left to listen? No
one! And second, do we really need to
know every last detail of what makes us tick?
I studied psychology, so I do enjoy crawling around inside of people’s
heads, and I like reading novels that are written in first person. However, crawl inside yourself for too long,
and you might just lose yourself…in your self. Now, if you need to figure out why you do
what you do in order to change and stop doing what you’ve done (I’ll wait while
you try to wrap around that) that’s great.
I’ve said it before-there’s nothing wrong with self-improvement if you
genuinely need help. It’s terrific if
what you find ends up helping others. Still,
focusing so much on your self can mean losing sight of the bigger and often
more important picture. If you are there
alone, with no one to share your discoveries, what’s the point, really?
It seems to me that many people have really lost the
strength and support of a very powerful word-Community. I’m finding bits and pieces of it at two of
the three places I currently work. (The
third place, as a guard, I usually work alone. Oh, there are times we work as
teams, but most contracts ask for one guard at one location.)
At Kraft, where my job title is Sensory Panelist (a fancy
term for professional taste tester) I work in an unbiased, group format. We work together to present our findings of
freshness and aroma/flavor intensity.
(Trust me; it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I’ll save that story for
another day.)
Now, at Family Christian Store, where I work as a retail
Sales Partner, I see the concept of Community the strongest. Despite the different denominations that come
in and out of the store, the message of Community rings clear. I think that really, the only reason is
because the concept of Christian community, or Fellowship, as we call it, goes
all the way back to Scripture. Jesus
Christ said, “Where two or three are gathered in My Name, there I am with
them.” Christians were and are
encouraged to not only worship together, but to help each other when troubles
come, as they always must in this world.
Some of this stuff coming next might sound a little ‘out
there’ to you, so let me first explain that I’m a WELS Lutheran (Wisconsin
Evangelical Lutheran Synod.) Part of
what that means is that I believe Scriptures are real, and the Bible is the
true Word of God. That means Adam and
Eve were real people, that there was a worldwide flood, etc.
If independence was such a grand thing, then I don’t think
God would have said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” Those words were
spoken all the way back at the beginning.
That doesn’t mean Adam wasn’t fully capable, and it doesn’t mean Eve was
somehow a lesser person. They were both
perfect, but they were even better when united.
Of course, they also managed to screw up as a unit, but only because
they chose to be independent from God.
Eve wanted to be like God, so pride was her downfall. As for Adam…for some reason I keep having
this romantic notion that he didn’t want to be separated from her, so he joined
in…and only then did he fully know the depth of what they had done. Maybe that’s why he tried to blame God and
said “This woman you put with me here…”
Maybe it didn’t happen that way, but then I also think the forbidden
fruit was a lemon or a grapefruit instead of the ever-popular apple…who thought
that up, anyway?
As you might imagine, the concept of independence removed is
very tough to picture, especially for me as an American. We fought and died for this independence and
we’ve prided ourselves on it. But we’re
not really free, are we? We’re slaves to
debt, and that includes the National Debt, so we’re slaves to our jobs, whether
we love or hate them. We’re slaves of
spin doctors and pundits and anyone in the media telling us what to think. We’re slave to our government as it seems to
swell and free enterprise seems to shrink. With all of that, independent thought is really a lie, an illusion. Now, why do we look to others, to social
networking, to magazines? What are we
trying so hard to fill with things…only things will never fill it?
I believe the answer is Community…and not just with each
other, but with God as well. Here’s the
funny thing: God has no expectations.
What a weird thought! I rejected
that idea too, at first, but then I thought about it. Why would God expect us to perform? We’re not trained pets! God did all the work. God even became human to save us, and at the
same time, help us relate to Him better.
That redemption means He chose mercy rather than justice when it comes
to us. He doesn’t just want the best
parts of us, He wants all of us. He’s
not mad, either…He just misses us. I
think we all miss Him too. Many just
don’t realize what that void is inside of us that cries out for attention. We all know it’s there. We all know it shouldn’t be, that there’s a
wrongness about it. We’ve seen what
happens when that void becomes overwhelming and people do what they can to fill
it up. They smoke, abuse alcohol or drugs, use sex, or shop too much. They overeat or starve themselves, all in a valiant
but vain effort to be happy and satisfied.
But we all know that stuff is meaningless.
Does He get frustrated?
Of course, but what loving parent wouldn’t? If you knew your child stole
or lied or hurt someone, would you be proud of him? Doing the right thing and following God’s
rules is supposed to be our expression of love for God. It’s not about “Do this or else!” That’s not how it works. Even Christians forget that sometimes. I know I have. It’s not about doing our best, because that’s
the same thing as being good enough, and we know already that we’re never going
to be good enough, because outside of God, perfection is impossible. That’s okay, because God loves us anyway, and
is happy when we express our love for Him.
Does this mean that we ought to be slaves, to be doormats
for everybody, that we shouldn’t stand on our own? That’s not the same thing at all. People who are doormats tend allow those who
need to control abuse them. They need
help, so they can help others. And I’m
not talking about submission, either. To
be submissive doesn’t have to mean you’re weak or your opinion isn’t valid. This might be an easier concept for women to
grasp because we like feeling secure and safe.
Women are more naturally inclined to be inter-dependent and have a small
community of friends or family around them.
(After all, ever see a group of guys suddenly vanish to go to the
restroom?)
The old saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a
child.” Nowadays the village is being
substituted by TV, Facebook, YouTube and Angry Birds. Nothing wrong with these things and I’m not
mad at them for existing. Yet I believe
that if we don’t start resurrecting the purpose and the power of Community-and
by that I mean a group of people, face-to-face, then we all may end up having
all kinds of neat things, but no one to share them with. We may become like Narnia’s Mr. Tumnus, who
was carrying packages in the dead of winter…with no one to give them to.
Start by saying hi to your neighbor. Join a group-away from the computer. Share with them your stories, your gifts,
your self.
As it says in Scripture, “A cord of three strands is not
easily broken.”
