The Kindness of Strangers

Sorry for my lack of updates.  I'll try to do better from now on. 

As usual, real life has kept me on my toes.  It has managed to cause me to topple over, too, but I find a way to stand, either by myself, or with a helping hand.  When I say “real life,” I mean life away from the computer, even though most people probably can't think of how life would be without it.  It freaks me out a bit to know that there are plenty of kids who have no idea what a world without computers and internet looks like.  I remember, and I'm not even so old yet. I remember a world without videogames, without microwaves, DVRs, mp3 players or dishwashers. I remember how my favorite thing to do was to climb trees and play with the cats.  Simple pleasures sometimes really are the best. A small kindness is and should be more revered than grand gestures.

The reason I'm thinking of simple pleasures and kindness today is because these past two weekends I was reminded of how truly nice it is to receive a simple act of kindness, or to enjoy just being out and about without any fancy gadgets to distract me.

Before I talk about that I feel I have to explain my life just a bit.  I currently work 3 jobs.  They're all part-time, and none are very stable.  I am a Licensed Security Guard, a Sensory Panelist (a fancy name for a professional taste tester-that's a story for another time) and a retail sales partner at Family Christian Store (which is a sort of cross between a bookstore, a Hallmark’s, and a music store.  Everything has a Christian theme to it.) 

What can I say?  You do what you can with what you have.  To pay the bills, I have to be quite the juggler sometimes.  I should say I'm a professional chameleon, because I become that which is necessary to survive. 

As I said in a previous post, I've been a security guard for several years.  I was working full-time, when work dried up after the economic downturn.  Security work is anything but secure.  Go figure.  However, when I do get work, it's often for brief, short bursts of long hours.  A 12-hr shift here, a 16-hr shift there, 3 overnight shifts over there, and so on.  Most of the time it's just standing and watching, or walking, or a combination of the three.  Since I'm an unarmed guard, I'm pretty much just an extra pair of eyes and ears.  I'd say the majority of people appreciate our presence, and those who aren't...well, that's pretty much why we're there. ;)

2 weeks ago was a doozy.  Saturday, June 30^th was the day of Rhythm and Booms, the greatest fireworks show in the Midwest.  The reason behind the name is because it’s a show set to music, but in order for the rhythm and timing to work, the audience has to have a radio.  I was scheduled to work a 14-hr shift right when the heat wave was getting in gear, so to speak.  

I prepared myself as best I could, but sadly the night before I had a bout of insomnia.  Too much mental preparation, perhaps…in short, my brain refused to shut off.  Plus, it was hot, and all I had was a fan.  Despite the house having central air, for some reason it never penetrates the top floor.  Heating, either, but that’s another story.

And so, tired and worried, I eventually got to my station, all set up with my water, some energy shots in case, nibble food, and I’d of course put on some really good sunblock called Bullfrog.  (Let me tell you, that stuff proved to work as well as claimed. I got a slight tan but I didn’t burn…and I burn easily.)  My station was at the Culver’s fast food restaurant that sits across the street from Warner Park.  (For those who don’t know, Culver’s is a pretty decent restaurant chain (for fast food, anyway) that began right here in Wisconsin.  If there is one great thing I can shamelessly plug for them, it’s their Lemon Ice.  Boy, did that hit the spot in that heat!)

When it comes to a big event like this, where people come from all over, parking suddenly becomes a very important situation that must be coordinated effectively or else it could be dangerous.  After a certain point in time, you had to have a special permission slip to park in that lot, or else you were fined.  It was true even if all you planned to do was eat at Culver’s and not stay for the show.

All day long I got to watch people enjoy themselves as best they could, even though it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk!  Kids were excited, parents were happy to be out and about together, etc.  At first I got some general well-wishes to keep cool which I reciprocated cheerfully, but my first real gift was from a middle-aged lady who I greeted as she pulled in.  She had her window down and greeted me, marveling at how I was just standing there, I guess.  She went through the drive-thru and said she “ordered” the cashier to give her a large-sized beverage of ice water that she gave to me before she left.

“Can you tell I work in the healthcare field?” she joked.  I told her I had 3 family members who worked at UW Hospital, and thanked her profusely.  What she didn’t know is that our security supervisors were well-prepared, carrying coolers of water bottles in their go-carts to various guards who were dotted all over the area.

Hours later, after enjoying a Lemon Ice, a young girl in her late teens or early 20’s also gave me water.  The longer I stood there, the more people came to realize just what we had to do.  Yes, I’m standing here, guarding the lot. Yes, I’ve been here since 10 a.m. and yes, I’m staying until the show is over tonight.  No, I don’t have a chair to sit in.  I had a few stupid questions asked too, reminiscent of comedian Bill Engvall:

“Aren’t you hot?” (Nope, I’m only doing my impression of fried bacon!  Here’s your sign!)

Or worse:

“Keeping cool?”  (Nope, I’m vying to become one of the Klement’s Racing Sausages!  If you don’t know what that is, look here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sausage_Race)     

Occasionally, I’d get a wiseass or two, (smokers were a little difficult.  The habit was so strong they didn’t even think about how dry the ground was.  One spark could have been a huge disaster.) However, the majority of people were kind, even grateful.  Even the owner of Culver’s stepped up and gave us Concrete shakes (ice cream shakes with candy, fruit or other stuff.  Mine had Oreos.)

Well, after the sun went down, the show began.  Most traffic paused and almost everyone settled down where I was.  I hadn’t seen fireworks in several years, usually because I’d either worked the night before, or after the show was over.  It was terrific.  I didn’t have a radio with me, but I’d hear a wisp or two from across the street behind me.  My favorite sorts of fireworks are the huge, golden sparkly ones that remind me of lions’ manes.  

Well, 14 hours became 12.5, but it still took me another 30 minutes to get out of the area and back into the main drag, which was East Washington/Hwy 151.  While inching forward I decided to do a bit of free advertising and blast some Poets of the Fall out of my car.  There is plenty of good housing surrounding Warner Park and so I saw all kinds of people sitting in their driveways with remnants of barbecues and what-not.  I had a lot of people pointing fingers.  I drive a butter-yellow 2007 Chrysler PT Cruiser (with a dark gray interior which has to be the ugliest color combination ever) that has a few extra eye-catching doodads.  On it I’ve added some large car magnets that feature the band’s logo.  Voila!  Instant mobile billboard!  

Now, just last night I was in a ponderous mood, and I was half musing, half praying to God.  Having 3 part-time jobs and no stability will make anyone feel a bit self-conscious, and dubious about their lot in life.  To be painfully frank, I’m almost 36 with a bare-bones education, no real career, no real home, no real independence.  In short, I often feel ashamed and humiliated, though I do my best to shove that aside and work with what I’ve got.  Still, most people my age have somewhat of a sense of true purpose.  They have a job, a spouse, and a family.  I knew that wasn’t my route, but then, I really have no clue as to what my route is supposed to look like, or supposed to be.  

So I was telling God that I had a lot of doubts as to where I’m supposed to be in my life.  Am I really where God wants me?  That’s what I wanted to know.  Well…I got an answer.  Let me just say that it is a very strange feeling when God gives you a direct answer immediately.  You are equally relieved, humbled, awed, and just plain freaked out.  We humans are so miserably self-centered that we actually forget just how closely God pays attention.

Not five minutes had passed when I’d prayed.  My shift was over-a short stint I do on Sunday nights at an apartment complex in downtown Madison.  As I was walking to my car I was approached by a young girl, likely a student, who called herself Koula. (I have no idea if I am spelling that correctly.) Pretty and petite, she told me she was afraid of a man who she claimed was stalking her.  I observed the man she spoke of who was much older, and indeed as soon as our eyes locked he backed away, turned around and seemed to pretend to look at the soda machines, leaving moments later. We were standing in a parking lot of a small grocery store that is usually open at all hours except for this exact point in time. She had gone there to try to find people but was dismayed to see it was closed.  Moments later I happened to be there.  

Never underestimate the power of a uniform.  I’m not a cop, and I have no weapons of defense.  Still, I know that it doesn’t take much for an attacker to be turned aside.  You cannot be intimidated.  If you are afraid, act as if you aren’t.  You look that person in the eye and that is often challenge enough.  If they continue, you run if you can.  If you can’t, you fight like hell, and a predator will almost always prefer that which is easiest.  The reason I know this is because I survived and avoided a rape attempt at 19. When the guy grabbed me, I froze, but then God told me “DO SOMETHING!” and I fought back.  At that time I’d also just started getting into martial arts.  Timing really is everything.

Back to last night, that wasn’t the end of the story.  After giving Koula a ride home, which was less than a block away, I had to quick check on another site location that is in the process of being torn down.  The alarms will often go wonky because the sprinkler system has been shut down and all water has been turned off.  It’s an old factory that I’m equally sad and proud to watch over, because my father worked there for 28 years and that’s actually where he and my mother had first met.  (My mother and grandma worked side-by-side.  My grandma is an awesome matchmaker!)

Anyway, upon arriving I did my usual rounds and saw that some lights had been left on all week.  When things get moved around or lights are left on I usually leave them alone.  However, seeing as how nothing had really moved for a while, I decided to try and find the light switch for this particular area.  Not finding the right panel, I turned only to trip over some exposed screws that had been sticking up out of the concrete.  I shot my hands out and landed awkwardly, and felt my right shoulder slip out of its socket…again.  For some reason I have a history of his shoulder popping out of joint.  This was my third freak accident with it, and it wasn’t pleasant.  For a long minute I just lay there in shock and pain, moaning to God, “No! No, no, no!  Fix it!  Please, God! Fix it!”  I couldn’t imagine driving to the E.R. and figuring out how to pay for it.  Not another bill!  I couldn’t miss work, either.  

After praying, I very slowly lumbered to my feet, each little jarring movement causing me to scream.  I finally stood up and relaxed my shoulder…and it popped right back into place, just like that.  The reason I know that’s amazing is because the last time I dislocated my shoulder, it took 2 doctors, 3 drugs and about 2-3 hours or so to fix it.  I probably should have it in a sling, as it is stiff and sore today, but at least I can move it.  I was never so grateful, and I hope I never forget that God really does pay attention to every detail of our lives, that so long as we live to serve His purpose, we are Exactly where we need to be.